Post by "The Boss" Dennis Slater on Aug 17, 2020 8:07:28 GMT -5
The Celtic Club (0-0) v. The Dirty Fucking Psychos (0-0)
Tornado Tag Team Match
Tiffany Styles: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is your main event of the evening! This match is a Tornado Tag Team Match, in this match up there are no tags, no count outs and no disqualifications. The first team to secure a pinfall or submission inside of the ring will be declared your winner!
A guitar chord is heard following by a voice "Behold the Kings. The King of Kings." Lights begin to flicker with the music "on your knees, dog". At the 0:13 mark, out from the darkness of the tunnel emerges the “One Man Dynasty” John Cavanagh in a hooded black robe with green trim and "The Heir Apparent" Andy Donahue who is in green and black wrestling trunks and boots, they head down towards the ring accompanied by John's valet Shannon Riley who is wearing a tight fitting and revealing dress. John and Shannon walk to the ring arm and arm they ignore the fans and Cavanagh trash talks to the camera while Andy Donahue's intense face shows he means nothing but business. They reach the ring, Donahue hops on to the apron and steps through the middle ropes while Cavanagh walks up the steps, outstretches his hand for his valet who carefully walks up the steel steps. Cavanagh grabs the middle rope and raises it while simultaneously pushing the bottom rope down with the foot allowing Shannon to easily enter without revealing anything much to the chagrin of the men in the front row. Donahue stands with his arms crossed guarding John and Shannon. Cavanagh steps in to the ring and outstretches his arms as Shannon grabs him from the side. Shannon takes John's robe off as Cavanagh helps her out of the ring. Cavanagh and Donahue turn their view to the inside of the ring as he prepares for the match.
Tiffany Styles: Making their way down the aisle, accompanied by “The Queen of the West Side” Shannon Riley, they hail from Hell’s Kitchen, New York…the team of “The Heir Apparent” Andy Donahue and the current EWF World Heavyweight Champion “The One Man Dynasty” John Cavanagh…they are THE CELTIC CLUB!!!!
The lights black out for around 5 seconds, next thing, some sort of noise can be heard blaring throughout the arena, it's the start of a song, 'haaaaail, haaaaail'. The lights come back, and now start flashing different colours. Out walks 'The Unbalanced' Lou Natic and Dirty Harry, they both seem on edge, Lou is laughing hysterically as he walks down the aisle. Both men have a crazy look in their eyes, Lou’s laugh suddenly stops as he reaches the ring, he begins hitting himself in the face , pulling at his hair. He circles the ring, headbutting the the steel poles that make the corners of the ring. He finally rolls in and does his trademark sit and wait in the corner as Dirty Harry stands behind him in the corner.
Tiffany Styles: Walking down the aisle, hailing from Brooksville, Florida and Lincoln, Nebraska, they are the team of “The Unbalanced” Lou Natic and Dirty Harry…THE DIRTY FUCKING PSYCHOS!!!!
The bell rings, Harry and Lou charge after John and Andy. Lou lands a flying forearm that knocks John to the ground while Harry and Andy begin to exchange blows in the ring. John rolls out of the ring and Lou flies through the middle rope after him with a tope suicida. Harry takes advantage of Andy in the ring and tosses him to the ropes, he lowers his head for a back body drop but Andy brings him crashing down with a DDT.
Robert Spollen: There ain’t going to be much room to stop and breath during this one.
Devin Hart: That’s right folks, make sure you don’t hit the bathroom because you might miss something.
Lou tosses John to the guardrail and begins to redden John’s chest with a series of knife edge chops as the echoes “WHOO” are heard after each one. Andy pulls Harry up and tosses him to the turnbuckles, following that up with a monster splash in the corner. Lou pulls John away from the turnbuckles and hits him with a suplex on the outside. Andy clotheslines Harry up and over the top rope. Lou gets to his feet and picks up the steel steps, eyeing John. Andy flies over the top with a suicide splash connecting with Harry.
Robert Spollen: Both Andy Donahue and Lou Natic have already shown they are throwing all caution to the wind in this one.
Devin Hart: Well both of these teams are pretty damn determined to want to hurt one another, there’s absolutely no love lost between these four competitors.
Lou goes to toss the steel stairs into John but Andy knocks him down from behind with a clothesline sending the steps crashing to the ground. John shakes off the cobwebs and he and Andy begin to put the boots to Lou on the outside. From behind Dirty Harry comes with a chair and blasts Andy in the back, Andy stumbles and Harry cracks the chair over John’s head and John crumbles to the floor. Lou gets to his feet. Lou and Harry begin to double team Andy. Lou lands a right, Harry lands a right, Lou, Harry, Lou, Harry.
Robert Spollen: It looks as if “The Heir Apparent” is learning to take his lumps in the ring this week.
Devin Hart: This is ridiculous, how do we have a tag team match with no tags!?
Lou and Harry bring Andy over with a double suplex that sends Andy’s lower back crashing in to the steel steps. Andy begins to spasm in pain holding both his back and his ribs. John begins to crawl up the ramp way. Harry points to John and Lou turns his attention, beginning to move up the ramp. Lou kicks John on the side of the head. Harry pulls up Andy but Andy strikes with a lowblow. Lou pulls John up and throws him to the guardrail, Lou takes flight for a stinger splash but John moves and Lou’s ribs catch the guardrail.
Robert Spollen: Lou natic just got a little over zealous with that one.
Devin Hart: And that should be the only opening needed for The Celtic Club to take the win.
John grabs Lou from behind and hits a German Suplex on the entry ramp. Andy picks Harry up in a spine buster position and drives Harry’s spine to the ring post. Andy picks Harry up and slams him down with a running power slam on the outside. Andy covers …1 …2 …Harry gets his shoulder up. John pulls Lou up to the entry curtain and slams Lou’s head in to the steel that surrounds the curtain cutting Lou open. Andy pulls Harry up and tosses him under the ropes into the ring. John kicks Lou in the gut and sets up for a Hell’s Kitchen Drop (Fisherman Brainbuster) on the steel entryway but Lou gauges the eyes and brings John down with a DDT on the steel. John rolls over and his face has now been bloodied as well.
Robert Spollen: John Cavanagh and Lou Natic don’t give a damn about winning this match, for these two guys this has become a personal rivalry.
Devin Hart: John hates Lou, Lou hates John and I don’t think either of them have ever been happier.
Andy pulls Harry up and locks him in a bearhug in the ring as the referee begins to check to see if Harry wants to tap. Harry drives his skull full force to drive into Andy’s skull to break the hold. Harry grabs Andy and hits him with a belly to belly in the ring and covers …1 …2 ..kickout! Lou and John get to their feet on the entry ramp. Lou goes for a clothesline but John ducks and pulls him by the head hitting him with an Inverted DDT on the ramp and the two men are down once more.
Robert Spollen: I’m willing to place money on this match finishing in the ring between Andy Donahue and Dirty Harry.
Devin Hart: Anyway can tell that, John and Lou just want to hurt one another.
Andy gets to his feet and Harry goes for a big boot but Andy gets underneath. He grabs Harry from behind and picks him up in the air locking the The Troubles (Torture Rack) the referee goes to check for the tap. Harry holds on as a man with long black hair slides under the ropes.
Robert Spollen: It’s Realm!
Devin Hart: Lucifer’s Legion didn’t possess him yet?
Realm has the lead pipe from earlier in the night in his hand and cracks Andy in the small of the back allowing Harry to fall out of The Troubles. Andy turns and Realm cracks Andy in his taped up ribs. Andy doubles over and Realm hits him with The Deadly Drop (Double Underhook DDT). Realm gets up, grabs his lead pipe and exits the ring, heading up the ramp towards Lou and John who are now up and trading right hands with one another.
Robert Spollen: Andy Donahue is down in the ring, probably with another cracked rib.
Devin Hart: That psychopath Realm just doesn’t know when to keep his nose out of other people’s business.
Realm gets to the top of the ramp, he swings the pipe at Lou who ducks. John catches Realm with a knee to the midsection which forces Realm to drop the pipe. The three men now begin to exchange blows between the three of them as they move closer to the edge of the stage. Harry climbs to his feet inside of the ring as Andy begins to stir on the mat.
Robert Spollen: This could turn bad very quickly.
Devin Hart: The Imperial Insanity main event is happening right now on the stage!
John and Realm are trading right hands on the edge of the stage as Lou charges the both of them and the three of them fly off the stage together when Lou connects on both men with a spear sending all three men crashing to the arena floor through the stage.
Robert Spollen: There goes the Imperial Insanity main event, those three bodies have got to be broken underneath all of that debris.
Devin Hart: I can’t even see them, all three have disappeared underneath the stage.
Andy goes for a roundhouse kick on Harry but Harry ducks out of the way. Harry spears Andy in the gut and Andy screams, holding his ribs in pain. Harry pulls Andy up who is wincing in pain, Harry picks up Andy and hits him with the Dirty Driver (Fireman’s Carry Driver). Dirty Harry covers …1 …2 …3!!!
Tiffany Styles: Ladies and gentlemen here are your winners, the team of “The Unbalanced” Lou Natic and Dirty Harry…THE DIRTY FUCKING PSYCHOS!!!
Robert Spollen: I'm not sure John Cavanagh even knows he lost or Lou Natic knows that he won.
Devin Hart: This is all because of that bastard Realm, he better be dead under that debris!
Robert Spollen: Ladies and gentlemen we will see you next time here on Evolution!
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