Episode 6: Top Rope Battle Royal (#30 and #1 on the line)

JASON "Black Heart" THUNDER send a televised message from a unknown location

Now you know me and I will tell you this-
This is it ! This is it. I told you that will fortify greatness. I will destroy all my opponents and I will give them pain. I will show no mercy. They will lose all their dignity when I am done with them. I will end all of you once and for all. This will be your finish line. I will tear you apart limb from limb,piece by piece until you can not feel a thing. It has started
and the end
is closely following
breathe in
and dive in
the finish line
is done. All of you will never ever be a champion . I will break you and crush you, I promise you. So You will be dust . I will be The Champion and believe that. You have nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. Better yet, when you had the chance you should of stayed in the shadows where both of you belong. There is quote from the book “ The great Iron War” that said In the black abyss, there were creatures that even demons feared. No one knew what they looked like, not even themselves, for they were blind, and though many were scavengers, seizing and consuming any stray bits of food that'd sunk down from the higher levels, there were predators too, just waiting for larger prey. I am one of the predators and you are my prey. . Mark my words, I will destroy all your lives even it destroys mine. I will do what ever it takes to put an end to all of you . Your blood will be in my hands . There will be a massacre. Once you come to the Abyss there is no more turning back. You both won’t be seeing the Dark Angel , you will be seeing The Devil from the Dark Abyss. I am such a different person. I will bring out the monster inside of me and you won’t have a chance against me.So you should say goodbye to your dreams .
Poison kills
It does it the best

Changes
Morphs
Constrains
Destroys
Kills

Deadly

I am your Poison
I am your weakness

I am your Problem

I am the Poison

Your fate shall be on our hands. This is war and you all shall fall!

This is a battle royal , every man for himself . I will put all out by throwing you all outside the ring and win that 30th spot. Mark my words , I will destroy all one by one until I get to the top. No one is stopping me from getting that spot. See you in ring boys and welcome to hell . I will win this Battle Royal cause I will do this match like it’s the last thing I do.

....So most of you phuck sox are sitting there with your heads up your asses as usual sitting there thinking to yourself about what you think is your very bright future here in the EMPiRe WRe$TLinG FeDeRaTiON. Well DOUCHE BAGZ if you would be so kind as to remove your thumb from your rectum and for once in your insignificant life













See here's the thing assholes, we know most of you were planning on coming to the EWF to either further or begin your career and establish a DYNASTY that would make you a permanent fixture here and in the anals of PRO WRESTLING HISTORY, but today we are here to regretfully inform each and every last one of you, especially all of these curtian jerking SHITBAGZ in this over the top ropr battle royal, that now would be the time for you to get your head out of the clouds and maybe spend some time and maybe













And who are we you ask? Pshhhhh like you even have to PHUCKING ASK in the first place, but just for shits and GiGS I'll go ahead and lay it out for ya because it has been a while. But before I jump in head first, allow me to point out that of all the worst case scenarios that have ever existed in this business, this is quite possibly hand down the













Mercy has never really been our phuckin thing and of all the things in this world and in this business that have changed since the last time we did the tag team thing the one thing that hasn't changed is THAT! So EWF I am here to offically administer to each and every phucking one of you the one and phucking only













As of this very moment consider yourselves put on notice, because as of now the only way any of you feeble minded, inbred, short bus riding, entitled, self righteous shit brains gets anything in this company is if we PHUCKING ALLOW IT! And while we are on the subject it's probably best for everyone if you go ahead and wrap your thin, skinny, feeble little minds around the simple fact that anytime we decide we want something it doesn't matter which one of you has it...Or how many of you are prepared to stand in our way to try and defend it the end result will always be the same. Because one way or the other...THE EASY WAY or THE PHUCKING HARD WAY...ANY AND EVERYTIME WE GET AND TAKE WHATEVER THE PHUCK WE WANT...And those of you that are phucking stoopid enough to stand in our way get hit so got damn bad, anytime anyone even says our name after our encounter your ass starts to automatically hurt again, and you get a migraine headache as your are instantly taken back to that night you unfortunatley found yourself on the opposite side of the ring as us, and we wound up handing you the most horrendous, GAWD F'N AWFUL













Bitch I'm talkin about we hit you so phucking hard the mother phuckers in the nosebleed section wound up with phucking nosebleeds you feel me?...OF COURSE YOU PHUCKIN DO! So at this juncture I guess the only question is...













We are the single greatest Tag Team in the HISTORY OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING. TO clarify I am not just saying we are the best Tag Team in the EWF, because well I think at this point that just kinda ya know













So someone tell the LeGioN of LooNey TOONeZ  or whatever their name is this week if they want to go ahead and find some boxes and some wrapping paper and gift wrap the EWF TAG TEAM titles to give to us like it's our phuckin Birthday that is probably in their best interest unless they really wanna go through the motions and get publically humiliated which we have ZERO PROBLEMS WITH AS WELL...But that's a problem for later, I'm still in the middle of a phucking INTRODUCTION! Anyway where was I? Ohh yeah that's right I was explaining that we are more than just the greatest tag team here in = the Empire Wrestling FeDeRaTiON...We are the greatest phucking tag team













We are the guys you HaTe 2 LoVe but LoVe To HaTe!!! We put asses in seats and we send bodies to the EMERGENCY ROOM EVERY PHUCKING WEEK LIKE CLOCKWORK! Take every arrogant piece of shit you have ever seen or heard from in this business. Take everyone of their redicilious BOASTS, CLAIMS, AND PROMISES roll them up into one and you get what we actually are! So allow me to introduce OURSELVES....We are















...CoLLeCTiVeLY KNoWN AROUND THE WORLD AS













We are ABOVE THE LAW, WE ARE THE TRUE ACTUAL FACTUAL ELITE OF THIS BUSINESS! We exceede every expectation and we BREAK AND SMASH ALL OF YOUR PHUCKING RULES SO WE CAN EVENTuALLY REPLACE THEM WITH OUR OWN! We are THE EGO BUSTERS...THE HERO BREAKERS! THE HOPE SMASHREZ, and THE DREAM BUSTERS!







We don't do MERCY and we don't Pull PUNCHES...













We've made more people cry than The end of The Notebook, Marley and Me, and ET combined!







We've ended more careers THAN CONCUSSIONS!







We've WON MORE CHAMPIONSHIPS THAN TOM BRADY







AND WE'VE HURT MORE FEELINGZ THAN THE DUDE WHO TOOK YOUR DAUGHTER'S VIRGINITY AND DIDN'T CALL HER EVER AGAIN!!!







We take your hopes and your dreams and we rip them to shreds right in front of your face in front of a sold out crowd while they cheer us on. We cheat, we lie, we steal, we break whatever we do whatever, because the only thing that matters to us is VICTORY and PUTTING DOWN ANY AND ALL THAT OPPOSE US! I'm talking the kind of PUT DOWN where your heart may wish to carry on but the rest of you keeps you on the ground for fear of further ABUSE! We don't just defeat out OPPONENTS we flat out













It's fun to watch two hope filled, self righteous dip shits come down to the ring with their false sense of bravado, and send them to the back on stretchers without their titles, their health, or any and every shred of dignity they ever even thought about having! We take places like the EWF that were mere JOBBER FACTORIES until we signed on the DOTTED LINE, and we turned it around OVER NIGHT! Because if we are here then the stock just shot through the roof, because now to make it here you have to EARN EVERY PHUCKING INCH OF IT...Because if not we WILL PHUCKING TAKE IT FROM YOU and HUMILIATE YOU IN THE PHUCKING PROCCESS! SO to all the members of the EWF ROSTER THAT ARE PARTICIPATING IN THIS OVER THE TOP ROPE BATTLE ROYAL I have only this warning to offer you. Since you asshats are the first phucking victims...SInce you are the first faces to face DomestiK Di$TuRBaNCE in the EWF the only suggestion or glimmer of hope we have to offer you is to take off your wrestling boots, put on your tennis shoes and













Because when we get our phucking hands on you we are going to beat EVERY LAST ONE of you phucking jerk offs like you













Our time should be spent fighting Championship calibur opponents or at least being put in a position to do what we were born to which is to elevate whatever wrestling promotion we choose to call home. But having to share oxygen with two phucking INBRED PHUCK SOX who come from special ISLAND of CURTIAN JERKERS that we are going to ship you back there in a phucking BLACK TRASH BAG IN PHUCKING PIECES! If you all are half as stupid as most of your names suggest then you PHUCKIN halfwits are in for the public beating of a lifetime! But at least you can say you were apart of PRO WRESTLING HISTORY! Because if nothing else when people talk about the second act of the greatest TAG TEAM of the HISTORY of PRO WRESTLING they will always look back to the night in EWF Hi$ToRy when we kicked down the got damn door and BEAT THE BREAKS OFF OF PRACTICALLY EVERY JERK OFF, ASSHAT, and J-BRONE WE COULD GET OUR HANDZ ON SO BAD that you put bags over your head after the medical staff miraciously revived you so that no one would recgonize you....Assuming they could even recgonie you after Hunter and I play












Cause singles....Tag Team it doesn't make a difference NONE OF YOU PHUCKING PHUCKS ARE SAFE! This is a hostile take over...MAJOR EMPHASIS ON THE













iT has been infected and overrun with hapless, witless, worthless curtian jerking JOBBERS, and it needs our help to cleanse it immediatelty! This is worse than any exorcisim that has ever been done. It's nasty phucking work, but somebody has to do it! And I assure you there aren't two better or more qualified people to do it then the both of us! We have been putting useless dickheads like ANARQUIA and Jason "Listen to My GAY HIPPY HIAKUS" THUNDER out to pasture for years! ANd we have reunited because this company...PHUCK THAT THIS BUSINESS NEEDS US ONCE AGAIN! And this time we aint leaving until the half assed, broken, entitled version of itself that it has become over the last decade is completley and utterly ANNHILIATED! We will put it back to where in order to make it in this business you had to EARN IT! You had to fight tooth and nail, and once you won that CHAMPIONSHIP or made it to the top...YOU HAD TO PHUCKING FIGHT EVEN HARDER TO KEEP IT! And we will not stop untiil this is the way of things here in the EMPIRE WRESTLING FEDERATION! And we can't do that until we beat some sense into every phucking one of you! So in order to restore this business to it's former GLORY that means practically every last one of you shitbags currently signed to the EWF ROSTER is going to have to line up and get your heads kicked in one by one or two by two...It doesn't matter because if Hunter and I have to we won't stop until we make everyone of you no good cock sucking J-BRONEZ















...But like I said from jump street...CONSIDER THIS YOUR ONLY PHUCKING WARNING YOU WILL EVER PHUCKING GET! We don't know REMORSE SO YOU WON'T GET AN APOLOGY....WE ONLY RESPECT THOSE THAT CAN BEAT IT OUT OF US...SO We'LL NEVER RESPECT ANY OF YOU...AND TO US













But we will let Hunter elaborate on that more...This has been paid for and brought to you BY THE BIGGEST IKONZ IN WRESTLING....DOMe$TiK Di$TuRBaNCE....And we fully accept responsibility for what follows..There will be broken dreams, piled up on broken hearts, careers, and bodies. We will apologise to no one and for absolutley none of it! But Hunter will show you...This was simply a WARNING...Ohh and before I phuckin forget to mention Dennis Slater and the EWF ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ANTICS OR ACTIONS oF DoMeSTiK DiSTuRBaNCE, and while here in the EWF we will take the word DISRESPECT and give it new meaning and you should all be grateful that we are allowing you to be apart of it...So get down on your hands and your knees because it will be easier for us to climb to the top if we have your worthless carcasses to climb on! And once you look up and see us standing way up high with our middle fingers up pointed directly at you. Keep in mind that eventhough we took from you everything there was to take, you gold, your glory, your honor, your dignity, and your place in history...Still try and wrap your head around the simple fact and notion that somehow some all of this still some how







...HAS BEEN YOUR PLea$uRe!!!!

Clay Holliday is seen on top of a beautiful brown horse with a bit of white running up the mane. Clay sits with a relaxed, calm look on his face as the horse trots around in circles. Clay brings the horse to a stop and focuses on the camera.

Clay Holliday: Things ain't been going my way lately, or Austin Earp's way either for that matter. Things been looking mighty rough around here in the Empire Wrestling Federation lately. Seems like the level of competition been picking up a bit lately at good ol' Clay likes to see that. See if Austin and I ain't winning matches then that must mean we just ain't getting bringing the goods on that night. Shame really because we've got all the talent and potential that these guys have and then some. This week though Clay got him a chance to prove he's better than a whole host of the talent in the EWF. Seems as if I find myself as one of eleven people fighting over the opportunity to enter the Imperial Insanity Battle Royal at number thirty or number one. Now to me, it don't make one iota of a difference where I enter in this here battle royal. I'm one big dominating type of dude who just found himself on a streak of bad luck.

Clay reaches to his saddle bag, pulling out a Zippo lighter and a pack of Marlboro Reds. Clay puts the cigarette in his mouth and strikes the Zippo on his pants. He lights the cigarette, takes in a deep pull and exhales.

Clay Holliday: Sure I may need to make a few changes to my strategy lately but I also won't have my sister's husband weighing me down...it's pretty well known round these here parts that Austin ain't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. Now I gotta whole host of people I'm gonna have to chuck over a top rope at Evolution just the same as I gotta whole host of people I'm gonna have to chuck over a top rope at Imperial Insanity. The way I'm seeing this is that Evolution is just a nice warm-up for the big show two weeks after. So, do I have to win this one? Naw, it ain't nowhere near as important to win as the big show. Would it be nice to win it? I'd be lying if I didn't say it would be...big strong man like myself coming in as the last entrant is pretty damn near unstoppable if you ask me. So whether its the man who pulls the strings on the new World Tag Team Champions, the man who moonlights as every profession known to man, the Mexican jumping bean, or the new man who thinks his shit don't stink...I'll be the one chucking you over the top rope this Saturday night. For the man who loves the fat chicks, the ghetto man and anyone else in this match...I'd stay the hell away from big ol' Clay Holliday before you wind up with a Holliday from Hell!

Clay kicks the side of his horse wand they begin to trot once more.