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Post by "The Boss" Dennis Slater on Aug 30, 2020 23:12:06 GMT -5
"The Pretty Badass" Allie Garcia v. Hardcore Heather v. Juanita v. The Mistress v. "The Queen of the West Side" Shannon Riley v. "T.H.C." The Hot Chick |
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Allie Garcia
Low-Carder
Built To Go, Not Just For Show
Posts: 121
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Post by Allie Garcia on Sept 2, 2020 8:52:03 GMT -5
The shot opens on Allie Garcia poolside in the evening, the sun setting in the distance, clad in a black bikini, hair pulled back in an easy ponytail, settled back on a lounge chair, a six pack of White Claw at her feet and a relaxed smile on her face.
"So my pay-per-view debut and it's a number one contender match, can't really complain about that. And while I'd prefer to just face one opponent at a time, I get the six-way match. Yeah, I'm the only woman in all of EWF who's won all of her matches so far, but it's just two matches. Besides, as much a challenge as this will be, if I win this match there's not gonna be any room to argue that I don't deserve my shot at the belt. All of that said... I definitely prefer this type of six pack to the match kind."
Allie leans forward as she makes her last comment, grabbing a can from the box of White Claws and cracking it open before enjoying a sip.
"... I'm not actually going to drink all of these tonight. I've got shit to do, y'know?"
She enjoys another long sip before setting the can down at her feet.
"Back to the match, to my opponents. Hardcore Heather and THC, you've both been in the ring with me now and that means you're going to be that much more familiar with what I do when we face off at Imperial Insanity. I can't rely on the fact that I beat you both one on one, so I've gotta make sure I'm that much more ready for the both of you again too."
She leans forward in her chair, the smile fading a bit as she continues.
"Juanita... let me be clear, I'm not gonna slut-shame you. Your relationship with Carlito, it's fucking weird to me but what consenting adults do with each other, that's their business. I don't dislike you because of your sex life or because your boyfriend is creepy as hell, I dislike you because I don't think you belong in a wrestling ring. I don't think you respect professional wrestling, your opponents, your partners... hell, I don't even know if you respect yourself. And I don't respect you. You can train your ass off or not, either way if we go face to face at Imperial Insanity I'm kicking it. As for Shannon Riley..."
Allie pauses, as if thinking for a moment before shrugging and picking her can back up to have another drink.
"I don't really know you at all, do I? I've got no beef with you, but you're an opponent in this match so that's all that matters."
Setting the can back down, she leans forward, closer to the camera.
"And The Mistress, whatever the hell you're supposed to be, I'm not impressed. All your bloodbath bullshit did was stain a perfectly good outfit and make me have to fly home in my spare gym clothes. I'm not intimidated, I'm not amused. But keep this in mind: there's no DQ in a six pack match. Winning this thing and getting my title shot is more important to me than putting you down personally, but let me assure you, if it comes down to you and me alone in that ring? I'll happily wrap a steel chair around your head and give you a bloodbath of your own."
Allie exhales slowly before picking up her drink once more, raising it in a toast to the camera.
"Cheers ladies, see you in the ring."
With that she brings the can to her lips for a long drink as the scene fades to black. |
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latinlover
Dark Match Talent
Put a little Latino Lover in your heart
Posts: 34
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Post by latinlover on Sept 6, 2020 18:02:20 GMT -5
“Mami, your skin is so soft I’ve missed it so!” Carlito exclaims as he kisses Juanita’s neck. The two loves are covered by their blankets while they lay in bed with their clothing thrown about their master bedroom. “It is such a beautiful thing that we are once more reunited! I knew we would be, I knew that Christopher Charles had no chance at defeating me!” Carlito smiles and smells Juanita’s hair.
“Of course Papi, I knew you would win your match I just knew that it was time to light a fire under your cute ass. We needed to take home the winner’s purse instead of double loser’s purses!” Juanita rolls her eyes at the thought of both of them coming up short again.
Carlito chuckles. “Mami, there is no reason to worry! You know that I now have the momentum, I have the momentum that is needed to make The Latin Lover the winner of the Imperial Insanity Battle Royal! The momentum that I will carry through this battle royal and on to my EWF World Championship opportunity that awaits me.” Carlito stares off as if he is daydreaming about being the EWF World Champion.
Juanita smiles and rubs Carlito’s hair. “I can only imagine how it must feel to be with the EWF World Champion.”
Carlito snaps his head and a look of confusion and worry comes across his face. “Mami, you want to know how it feels like to be with John Cavanagh?”
Juanita rolls her eyes at Carlito’s idiotic comment. “You are kidding me right? I really need to explain that comment? I want you and that championship gold and nothing else!”
Carlito’s look of worry eases but the confusion remains. “But, what of the Women’s Championship mi amor?”
Juanita nods her head. “Of course, that would be a nice cherry on top of our sundae but let us not forget the purpose of us leaving beautiful San Juan for disgusting Jersey City it is to get the biggest checks the company has to offer!”
Carlito caresses Juanita’s arm. “Of course Mami, and that is why at Imperial Insanity I must win the battle royal and earn the championship opportunity and you must win the six pack challenge to earn your own championship opportunity.”
Juanita rolls her eyes, momentarily doubting her own in-ring ability. “Papi, I know I have won matches in other promotions but I have hit a rough patch. I have yet to win one match and you expect me to become the number one contender already? I must need to train a little more.”
Carlito raises the blanket and takes a gander at Juanita’s body. “Mami, your body is perfectly tone all you need to do is maintain mi amor! Not only that, if the Halloween Cousins could win their first match to become the EWF World Tag Team Champions why can’t you win your first match to earn a Women’s Championship match?”
Juanita’s eyes light up at these words. “You’re right Papi! I don’t see why I can’t come up to the plate and knock one out of the park at Imperial Insanity! I can become the number one contender to the EWF World Women’s Championship and then later on I can watch my man become the number one contender to the EWF World Championship!”
Carlito’s eyebrows raise back and forth. “And then we can celebrate live in the center of the ring at the following Evolution for the entire world to see our love!!”
“Papi, let’s not get that far ahead of ourselves.” Juanita pats Carlito on the head like a good puppy dog. “I have to beat that scary screaming lady that is finally debuting, that pretty blonde bitch Shannon, the pothead’s main squeeze, the hardcore niece and that Canadian Latina with one of the nicest asses I think I have ever seen! And you? You, mi amor…you need to beat 29 other people!”
Carlito sneaks a kiss to Juanita’s lips before nodding in agreement. “You are right mi amor, there are 29 other individuals that will be vying for the same opportunity that I will be attempting to obtain. And some of them are on the same teams basically. You have Vin Halsted, Enforcer and LA Johnny Stylez who will surely help each other and hope to have the ring all to themselves as the final three. You have Deathmatch Devin, Dank Sinatra and Lou Natic’s old friend Dirty Harry who I’m sure will help each other out as well. Then you have those Halloween guys The Master, The Monster and The Creature who will also surely have each other’s back. You add in all of the tag teams in that ring and I must say, it may be difficult for a lone wolf like myself to walk out of this match as the Imperial Insanity winner but I must press on. I must go against the grain if need be in order to make mi amor proud!”
Juanita smiles and kisses Carlito. “Oh, you always know how to make mami feel happy!” The two continue to kiss as the promo ends. |
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Allie Garcia
Low-Carder
Built To Go, Not Just For Show
Posts: 121
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Post by Allie Garcia on Sept 8, 2020 21:27:20 GMT -5
The scene opens on Allie Garcia in her garage gym, the big door open to show a dreary, drizzly September afternoon outside. She wears a black hoodie with a supplement company's logo across the front, gym shorts, knee socks and sneakers on her lower body. She's seated on a weight bench, her phone at her side, set on speakerphone.
"Allie, can you hear me?"
"Hey David, I can hear you. Nice talking to you again. I take it the first interview went over well with your teacher?"
"It went over with everyone! The teacher loved that it was different than everyone else's, a lot of my classmates loved it, the guys who didn't know who you were got real interested when they checked out your Instagram..."
Allie rolls her eyes with a little smile before replying dryly.
"Yeah, that happens."
"Anyway, when you told me you'd be up for another interview I figured I'd ask other people for questions for you, between classmates and Twitter and stuff. I, uh, filtered out the gross ones."
"Yeah, that happens too. Thanks for skipping those."
"No problem. I figured I'd start with some of the more wrestling-related ones and then go from there?"
"Works for me, fire away."
"Alright. Was there a particular moment or anything that really made you want to become a professional wrestler?"
"More or less, yeah. I always watched with my older cousins when I was a kid and I remember being hooked when I saw a match on Smackdown when I was like 8 years old, Edge and Eddie Guerrero, this awesome No DQ match they had. But a month after my 13th birthday, Wrestlemania 25, HBK and Undertaker, watching that match? That was when it went from 'I love watching this' to 'I need to do this'."
"So did you start training really young then?"
"No, I waited until I was 18. My parents wanted me to wait til I was done college, but that just wasn't going to happen."
Allie laughs softly, shaking her head a bit.
"So I started training while I was in college, then I was wrestling on weekends when I was in school. I only took a three year program so I had a couple years under my belt when I was done with college, dove into wrestling full time and never looked back."
"So the fitness modeling, the sponsorships and all of that, that was never a goal of yours?"
"No, not at all. It started out as a way to help pay the bills and now it's just part of who I am as a professional. Modeling gets more eyes on me, that gets more eyes on me in the ring, more eyes on me in the ring gets more eyes on my social media and all of that, it's a cycle that just helps me more and more as it builds."
"And what did you go to school for?"
"Marketing. A little fitting there, right?"
"I guess so. Okay, the next question is really specific to this upcoming weekend. A six pack match, how do you plan for that, what kind of strategy do you take in?"
"Right, there's a lot to worry about with this kind of match. The biggest thing is that I don't have to be involved in the decision; if one of those girls gets pinned or tapped by someone else, even if I don't get beat myself I still don't walk out with a guaranteed title shot. So that means I have to try and be close, be involved, for the entire match so that I can break up a pin if I need to. And in turn that means I'm putting a target on myself because, hey, if I'm standing in the middle of the ring that means someone's gonna try and take my head off, same as I'd do to someone else. Factor in that I've only been in the ring with two of my opponents before and one of my opponents no one has seen wrestle before, it can get real messy."
"So what's the best way to get through all that?"
Allie shrugs her shoulders and sighs.
"Keep it as simple as I can. Understand I'm probably gonna take some big punishment, know I'm going to have to fight through that and just look for a chance to get someone alone in the ring and get a quick pin or submission if I can. Otherwise, just be the last woman standing, no matter what."
"Right, that makes sense. If you pull off the win on Saturday, do you have any preference as to who walks out as women's champion between Ash Everett and Justice?"
"I mean... not really, no. I'm trying not to focus on that anyway, I've got five opponents to worry about before I even have the chance to worry about those two. They're both capable, neither would be an easy match, and ultimately I'd be confident in my chances going one on one with either of them."
"Okay, cool. The rest of the questions aren't really wrestling related, is that okay?"
"Yeah, absolutely."
"Great. So, and I apologize if this questions is offensive at all, but there were some questions asked about, y'know, if you're all natural or if you've had work done or..."
"Or if I'm walking around with a couple pounds of silicone in me?"
"Yeah, I was trying to be a bit more delicate about it, sorry."
"It's fine. No, all natural. Between the Colombian side and the Brazilian side it's fair to say there's some genetics in regards to my backside, plus just an ungodly number of squats and deadlifts. And for people who wonder if I've had my boobs done, all I'll say is: if I'd gone to the trouble to get surgery, I would've definitely gone for bigger than what I've got. I just wear very flattering tops sometimes, that's all."
"That makes sense I guess. Since you mentioned squats and stuff, do you have a favourite and least favourite exercise?"
"Ooh. Favourite... I mean, I love doing curls and squats. There's a ton of different variations for both so it's easy to change things up a little, so that's always nice. Least favourite would be any kind of indoor cardio. Running or biking outdoors I enjoy, swimming too, even finding someplace I can do stairs outside. But when the weather's crap and that's not a great option I'll force myself to get on the stairmaster or treadmill but I'm not loving it."
"Skating?"
"Oh definitely, all winter. I won't pretend I'm good at hockey but I'm always up for a game of shinny once everything freezes."
"Would you ever consider doing a nude photo shoot?"
Allie pauses for a second before answering.
"So, not a quick answer for this one. If we're talking like camgirl kinda stuff, really explicit, hard no on that, definitely not. Something more like Playboy... it's not on my bucket list or anything, but I'm not really opposed to it. My biggest concern would be how it might distract from the rest of my career, I'm not bothered by the actual nudity part. I'll put it to you this way: I'm tentatively open to it, but I wouldn't suggest anyone hold their breath until I'm playing Playmate."
"Okay, the last couple are pretty quick ones. If you were stranded on a desert island with three things, what would they be? And the person who submitted the question added, and I quote, 'no smartass answers'."
Allie laughs, shaking her head.
"Okay, I guess that means I can't say 'boat'. Ah... something to purify water so I don't have to worry about that. A good multitool because if Les Stroud takes one everywhere he goes I want one too."
"Les Stroud?"
"What, you've never watched Survivorman? Anyway, third thing... Kindle with a solar powered battery and as many books as possible loaded on it."
"Alright. Favourite colour, meal and movie?"
"Okay, blue, steak with asparagus and potatoes, and The Princess Bride."
"Heh, as you wish. Favourite things to look for in a guy?"
"Hmm... nice smile, smells good, strong shoulders, strong chin."
"Do you have any talents or interests that might surprise people?"
"I don't know if I'd say I'm talented at it, but I like carpentry. My dad had a workshop he always like to putter around in, I'd hang out with him there when I was a kid. I'm no pro but I've built a few things. I did a hope chest for one of my best friends when she got engaged last year, that was fun."
"Okay, I definitely wasn't expecting that. That's it for my questions. Thanks again Allie."
"Anytime, David. Let me know if you ever need another easy A again."
Allie picks up her phone to end the call as the scene fades to black. |
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Post by John Cavanagh on Sept 9, 2020 15:36:34 GMT -5
The scene opens to John Cavanagh and Shannon Riley's shared apartment above The Blarney Stone in Hell's Kitchen, New York. The calendar on the wall shows that it is September 4th due to the X'ed out dates.
Are you sure you don't want me to come with you, baby?
John Cavanagh pauses while packing a duffel bag with two changes of clothing laid out on his king sized bed. He never understood why people ask that question, "are you sure" once a conversation has already been had, but, it was Shannon so he knew he couldn't help but smile.
Hun, I'd love to have a weekend trip somewhere but this ain't that type of trip--I'm going to Leavenworth to visit my father on his birthday.
Yeah, I know, but that doesn't mean I can't keep you company at the hotel and maybe see a part of Pennsylvania I've never been to.
Shan, Petey is coming for this trip...you know that.
So? Petey can go to visit your dad but I can’t?
No--Petey isn't coming to visit my dad. Petey's got a cousin out there that we have to go see, then after we see him Petey will be finding his way back to the neighborhood.
Just him? How the hell are you getting back?
Don't you worry about that...I have something lined up.
Oh, alright, I just really wish I could go.
You know I love you but why do you have to break my balls about this?
Shannon pouts, frustrated with John's response.
I’ll miss you, asshole! I missed you for five years!
John opens his mouth to speak but he stops himself, he knows that Shannon had a valid point. He knew that she did right by him when so many other women would have left their man's side, or at least found a new boy toy, with the stretch he had to do.
I know baby, and I'll miss you too...but this isn't a trip for you, ok?
Shannon nods her head. She grew up in a family that was part of the life. Her father went missing in 1996 when Shannon was only six years old but her uncle Patrick Riley was always involved with the Hell's Kitchen crew until he retired from his "job" as a longshoreman to move down to Tampa, Florida and her older brother Joey, well, it's been well documented that Joey is currently serving a prison sentence in an Upstate New York penitentiary himself.
Promise me you'll come back safe...no phone calls after you've gotten the attorney to get you the extra call this time, right?
Shan, that's not happening...I've got nothing to hide on the way out there and I won't have anything to hide on my way home either.
John tosses his two changes of clothes in his duffel bag, he zips up the duffel bag while looking at Shannon who has nodded her head in agreement. John gives Shannon a kiss and walks out of the bedroom. Shannon stares at him as he turns around once more at the door of the apartment.
Love you, Shan.
Love you too, John.
Shannon smiles, she had given John nothing but grief the last time he was arrested. They had just had an argument over something minuscule, so unimportant that neither of them even remember what they had been arguing over but the last words they said to each other that day were not kind so Shannon made it a point to make sure John knew that no matter what, arguments or Hallmark moments the last words they would utter to one another would be positive and affectionate. Shannon walks out of the bedroom doorway and in to the living room. Shannon finds her stationary bike and begins to peddle lightly.
Well, while John is out for the weekend I might as well push my body harder to get ready for this six pack challenge at Imperial Insanity. I finally got my first taste of victory in an EWF ring at the last Evolution against Juanita and I have to be honest with everyone...I like the way victory tastes! I would be lying if I didn't let the entire world know just how satisfying it was to pin Juanita's shoulders to the canvas. It was a thing of pure beauty, I was so proud of myself after that match and so was John, even the rest of the guys congratulated me when we got back to the neighborhood. It felt good, its a feeling I'd like to feel more often. So, at Imperial Insanity I'm going to have to work five times harder to win because instead of one opponent I've got five of them to square off against. Six of us ladies competing for a shot at the EWF World Women's Championship. Shannon Riley, Juanita, The Hot Chick, Hardcore Heather, Allie Garcia and The Mistress are all going to step in to the same exact ring and decide who the new number one contender is. Of the women in this match only myself and Allie Garcia have been able to secure victories here in the EWF so far, so, I'm pretty sure most betting men would give her and I the best odds at winning this match--they might even give Allie better odds because she's beat Hardcore Heather and The Hot Chick while I've only defeated Juanita, and that's fine by me. I'm fine with not being the odds on favorite, I haven't earned that right yet. But, by that train of thought, I’m pretty sure I’m a heavier odds on favorite than The Mistress, The Hot Chick, Hardcore Heather and Juanita. I mean let’s face it, Juanita has been pinned by damn near everyone, The Hot Chick and Hardcore Heather both got beat by Allie and The Mistress—well, she’s been hiding in the shadows trying to scare women with her screams and blood baths, but it’s funny, she hasn’t tried any of that shit with the Queen of the West Side. I’ll see you ladies at Imperial Insanity.
Shannon increases the workout on her stationary bike as the scene cuts to static.
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Post by Lucifer's Legion on Sept 10, 2020 15:48:39 GMT -5
Darkness, nothing else. There is no light, no silhouette, nothing can be seen, however, a voice is heard from the disturbing dark void.
And so the night we have all been waiting for is finally ready to be. The night in which Lucifer’s Legion is at full strength and prepared to dominate the landscape of the Empire Wrestling Federation. The EWF World Tag Team Champions, my Creature and my Monster, are prepared to walk in to battle to face off against American Muscle and successfully defend our championship gold. The college educated steroid users will meet their demise, center stage, in front of the entire world of the living at Imperial Insanity. As if the destruction of the first champions, The Destruction, wasn't enough my Creature and my Monster must now destroy yet another pair offered up by the world of professional wrestling. After months of keeping the world of the living in suspense The Mistress has finally been summoned to destroy the entire female roster of the Empire Wrestling Federation. She may as well begin her quest for the Women’s Championship with the utter demolition of Shannon Riley, Allie Garcia, The Hot Chick, Hardcore Heather and Juanita. The women of this promotion have already been haunted and made to be seen as the pathetic fragile things that they are. Make no mistake about it, The Mistress, will show these five what the words pain and punishment truly mean. And, The Master? The Master is prepared to be the dominating force within the Imperial Insanity Battle Royal. With my control over Animabus Damnatis it should be a foreseen conclusion that The Master will be the man to challenge the EWF World Champion. Once twenty-nine others others realize their own failures then and only then will the light rise over the Empire Wrestling Federation, and that light will be the blood red light of The Master and Lucifer’s Legion claiming their rightful place on top of the EWF’s totem pole. The World Tag Team Championship was the first piece of our puzzle, the Women's Champion and World Championship are coming next. Let the era of darkness begin to hover over the Empire Wrestling Federation.
The voice stops and the darkness becomes engulfed in flames. |
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Post by blazedup on Sept 11, 2020 20:22:27 GMT -5
"Blazed Up" Dank Sinatra is seen with his feet up on a coffee table and his shades on even though he is clearly inside of a house. Dank is slowly shaking his head back and forth in disappointment. It's been a rough stretch for Dank Sinatra after losing the EWF World Television Championship to Adrian King.
Hey, 4:20ers! I’m sorry to let you guys know but the Dank Man isn’t feeling himself right about now. I just don’t know brosefs but after Adrian King hit me with that Kingmaker and got the pin I’ve been a little down in the dumps. Not like my lovely lady doesn’t help me out with that feeling from time to time but still, you know, its kind of tough no longer being the EWF Stoner Champion! But, all of my 4:20ers know that the Dankster is a humble type of dude so I have to give credit where credit is due bros and gals…congratulations to the new EWF World Television Champion, Adrian King. Now I do have to say, 4:20ers, that Adrian King just so happens to be one of the twenty-nine other dudeskis that I’m going to have to face off against at Imperial Insanity in that great big old battle royal that Dennis Slater booked. That should be interesting to say the least, superstars from all over the country and in a few cases a few different corners of the world trying to get their shot at the EWF World Championship.
It was just a little over a month ago when I was crowned the proud Champion of EWF Television and the Dankster figured that he would roll that success over and dominate with five successful defenses to gain myself a shot at the World Championship. Apparently, that wasn’t in the bag as the Dank Man thought it was. I thought my sheer athletic ability, my stoner charm and stunning good looks would get me where I had to be in the end but I guess the Dank Man has to go all about that in a totally different way now. Luckily, I have both of my lovely ladies to help me a long the way. Ain’t that right?
“T.H.C” The Hot Chick walks in to view and sits down next to Dank with a freshly packed bong.
That’s right Dank, and just like you’re going to go out there and show the men what the deal is…I’m going to have to do the same against the women.
Dank flicks his Bic and allows the flame to light the beautiful green and purple flowers that find themselves in the slide piece. Dank milks the pull until the chamber is filled, he removes the slide piece taking in a humungous pull. Dank inhales and holds his breath while THC keeps speaking.
I don’t know about the rest of you ladies but I sure am ready and willing to show the entire wrestling world what the ladies of the Empire Wrestling Federation are really all about. We ain’t a group of prissy divas, we ain’t running around all pretending to be knockouts…although most of us are…and we definitely have a deeper talent roster than some other promotions with more name recognition.
Dank finally exhales and begins to cough his lungs out. The cherry that was once glistening has now transformed from green and purple beauty to some disgusting looking ash.
Its been a tough road training under the Dank Man, he likes to party hard and he trains even harder. It wasn’t easy for me and when we get to Imperial Insanity I’m going to make sure this match isn’t easy for any of you ladies. Heather, our teachers seem to always be on the same page and Allie has my respect from our first encounter but that doesn’t mean I won’t be gunning for you two to give myself a chance to fight for the EWF World Women’s Championship. As for Juanita and Shannon Riley, well, we all know about those two…the one who uses what’s between her legs for power and the one who’s addicted to being the arm candy of a powerful man. You two ladies probably have the most to worry about because as far as I can tell myself, Allie and Heather aren’t your biggest fans and you’ve got the share the ring with each of us on Saturday. And, The Mistress? Fancy name, so are you The Master’s mistress or Lucifer’s mistress? I’m not sure and I haven’t even had any interaction with you but I’m ready to smoke your ass like a fat sack of grass too!
Dank looks to THC and raises his eyebrow and nods his head up and down in agreement.
Smoke your ass like a fat sack of grass? I like it, that should be your new like slogan, er, catch phrase, er, whatever the hell people call that nowadays. Speaking of catch phrases it seems that there is some new group walking around the Empire Wrestling Federation with their chests pumped out like they run the place following some guy who is obviously trying to be an evil version of Dank Sinatra. 4:19, got a minute? Bruuuuh, really? That's some shit I used to write on the school desk back in middle school and you're still saying that shit? It was funny way back when but nowadays 4:19, got a minute? I'm sorry bruh but 4:20/7:10 is a lifestyle it ain't just a here or there thing...got a minute? How about got a lifetime? I will give you this, you certainly have a way with words constantly talking about how everyone else is trash and bashing people because they show a little respect to their fellow athletes. You must have been that kid that got picked on in high school all the time. And then we've got your good old buddies...from the looks of it we've got LA Johnny Stylez leading his "Outlawz" with Justice Cross, Enforcer, Vin Halsted and Hunter Valentyne playing follow the leader. It's cute that you think you actually won a "warm-up battle royal" because you are "that good". Bruh, I gotta honestly say the only reason you won that thing was because you and Enforcer were in cahoots the entire time. Then when it came down to the wire, instead of going at it like men, Enforcer eliminated himself...very Fingerpoke of Doomish of you two. I mean, I've been in the ring with Enforcer, dude is a fucking bull but at the end of the day the Dank Man pinned his shoulders down to become the first EWF World Television Champion. So go ahead and run your mouth, let Vin Halsted bullshit about how all of his accolades from somewhere else make him important, let Hunter Valentyne do whatever it is that he's good at...I mean there has to be some reason you guys keep him around unless he's just your plug. None of that matters when athletes who have more talent and more respect for this promotion face off against you.
THC pulls a Ziploc baggie out of her pocket and grabs a nug, she rips it in half and places it in the bong and begins to get her roast on.
But, the Dankster can't sit here and pretend like its just The Outlawz who are making some noise around these parts. I can't forget about the guy who was able to take the EWF Television Championship out of my hands, Adrian King. I feel like we are all becoming proud fathers watching a son blossom in to the potential that he has. Adrian King came in to the EWF with one hell of a chip on his shoulder, trying to prove to his family that he had what it takes to make it in this business. Last Evolution, he went out there and pretty much dedicated his victory to his brother and wouldn't you know it? The guy actually came through on his word and hoisted that belt high in the air for his family. I feel like we've seen Adrian King grow in to a more respectable young man over these past few months, his attitude is even changing a bit for the better. Well, bruh, I'm proud of you and all but if you're in that battle royal when I'm in that ring I'm trying twice as hard to put you over the top. Not because I hate you or any of that childish bullshit, it's a good challenge...you're one of the few guys who have been able to beat the Dankster so I'm hoping that once you get eliminated that I'm the one to put you over the top.
Dank, you want the next hit?
Not right now, I'm focused...I'm in the zone!
THC shrugs her shoulders as if to say "fine, more for me then" and goes back to a slow roast on the lovely lady inside of the bowl head.
This match is definitely shaping up to be the biggest match of many of our careers. Those words where echoed by Anarquia and Salvaje. Those two daredevils screaming "Lucha!" they know what a lifestyle is all about...they eat, breathe and sleep that shit. I've never seen those guys without those masks on and I've never heard them refer to each other as anything other than Anarquia and Salvaje. I wonder if those luchador guys are just born with a mask next to them when they come out of the womb. I don't know, it's a funny thought that happened to entire my mind. And what about "Classy" Christopher Charles? The prick that bashed my skull with a steel chair after he got eliminated from a three way dance for the Television Championship...a match I happened to go on to win by the way, Christopher! The one thing I can agree on with the Middle School Stoner dude is that your whole speech about how the referees are all ganging up on you and costing you matches, its getting pretty old pretty fast bruh. I think it's time for you to kind of admit that mommy and daddy's money hasn't got you anywhere as far as your professional wrestling career is concerned. Then there was your counterpart in that three way dance, Carlito Rodriguez, the wrestling world's very own "Latin Lover". How much of a corny act can you be man, you definitely show more talent than Christopher Charles but you don't edge him out by all that much bruh. It was almost sweet to see how losing time with Juanita lit a little fire under your ass and you beat Christopher Charles...I gotta say I was cheering you on in the locker room just because I love to see Christopher Charles lose matches...it's the highlight of the under card of the show.
That's not even the tip of the iceberg as far as possible opponents I have to deal with in this battle royal. Let's not forget you have all three members of Satan's Groupie Squad coming down that aisle and entering that ring. It's kind of sad to think that what that really means is The Master has three chances to win this battle royal. If this Master dude is really the puppet master pulling the strings and controlling the minds of these two behemoths then, brosefs, I'm pretty sure he'd just have a true Fingerpoke of Doom and take their title shot if they won the whole thing. Speaking of brainless monsters, we can't forget that both of The Arizona Outlaws are scheduled to show up in this battle royal. The scary part about these dudes is that the smarter one, Clay Holliday, is still just about as useless as some ganja with no papers or smoking instrument. Wait, that one is going to go right over Clay and Austin's head so maybe I should use an analogy they'd be a bit more used to...you two dudes, you guys are about as useless as tits on a bull. Just keeping up with all of the tag teams that happen to be involved in this thing, we've gone the Canadian sensations Alec Kirkland and Kenneth Marshall the Technical Authority. These guys seem like they have a true love for this business which is always dope as can be but I gotta say guys...for some righteous sounding dudes, you guys are a bit boring. Very little expression when you're out and about, no music, hell you guys never even named your finishing moves its like you guys are trying to be different by being as bare nuts and bolts as possible. I mean, to each their own and I hope that you guys are both at least digging your own choices but I'm not even sure you two dudes are digging your choice to be a team. I know you dudes have history so I'm sure that helps you guys as a team but I wouldn't be surprised if the entire wrestling world witness you two imploding on one another at some point in that battle royal. Two good singles wrestlers don't always make a good tag team, ya know? The other teams? American Muscle, them dudes seem like they could leg press the entire ring with the other twenty-eight superstars inside of it but the winner of this ain't gonna be no tag team specialist like Mason Blackwell or Leon Mondo. The Scots and Brooklyn's Finest? I think all four of those dudes are pretty much after thoughts to all of.
One guy I most definitely do not want to overlook is the so called "Heir Apparent" Andy Donahue. The dude who follows around the World Champ around and does his dirty work and also looks like he should be the third member of American Muscle. I'm pretty sure we all know why Andy Donahue is one of the thirty participants in this battle royal. It's John Cavanagh's insurance plan. John wants to hedge his bets because he's starting to feel like Lou Natic might take that championship away from him at Imperial Insanity. Andy Donahue is in this battle royal to try to win FOR John Cavanagh. I can see it right now if Andy wins and John loses to Lou, at the very next Evolution Andy will be handing his World Championship opportunity over to John. Or what if John wins and Andy wins? Does that mean a Fingerpoke of Doom in their match? Bruuuuuuuuh, I feel like I'm starting to get trapped in some horrible WCW purgatory. The two guys I do have to save for last though are two of my very own buddies, two of my road dogs. I'm talking of course about Lou Natic's partner from the past Dirty Harry and our boy Deathmatch Devin. Harry, we don't go as far back as I do with Devin or your boy Lou but I know why you're here. I know that digging you out of retirement was an added layer to Lou Natic's war with John Cavanagh but here you are still...watching your buddies back and entering yourself in the Imperial Insanity battle royal. Looking for a shot at the big one? I know you guys ain't The Celtic Club so I can't see Harry just handing over his shot at the gold or laying down if his buddy Lou Natic can win the strap. But I do know that Dirty Harry is gonna be one hell of a hoss to get in the ring with in this battle royal and that's going to make him one hell of a wild card. Then there's my final road dog, Deathmatch Devin. Devin, Lou and I all bounded together as the fan favorites against the evil bastard that became the first World Champion. Now, theres a very good chance that Devin and the Dankster may find themselves locking horns for the first time at Imperial Insanity. Devin, I know that you're from the same school of thought I am, if it comes down to you and I neither of us are going to take it easy on one another. Matter of fact you and I would probably beat the shit out of each other so bad that the only person looking worse is gonna be John Cavanagh after Lou Natic gets done with him in that Death in a Cell Match. Devin, you've been around the block more times than most dudes in this promotion, you know all the tricks and you've been yearning for your first World Championship. Unfortunately buddy, this time, its gonna be the Dankster that has to stand in your way. Alright, 4:20ers...I've got to get back to this lovely lady who's holding some lovely lady. Until next time, its the Dankster signing out!
Dank Sinatra throws up the peace sign while taking the bong out of THC's hands.
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Allie Garcia
Low-Carder
Built To Go, Not Just For Show
Posts: 121
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Post by Allie Garcia on Sept 11, 2020 21:26:28 GMT -5
The scene opens on Allie Garcia, wearing an unzipped black hoodie over her wrestling attire, stretching in a hallway. The camera is on the move, as if the cameraman had forgotten to stop recording while walking from one spot to the next. Allie glances up to see him, offering a quick smile.
"Hey, you got a minute with that thing? Yes, you, camera guy. Relax, you won't get in trouble, just tell your boss I threatened to beat you up, it'll be fine."
The camera guy stops, focusing the shot properly on Allie as she flips the hood down from over her head.
"It's Saturday night, the stars are bright, I'm in Jersey City and I'm ready for a fight. It's my pay-per-view debut and there's a six pack with my name on it just waiting to get opened up. THC, Hardcore Heather, Shannon Riley, Juanita, Mistress, none of the personal stuff, good or bad, is gonna matter in a couple minutes when my music hits and I make my way out to the ring. Doesn't matter if I've beaten you before or not, doesn't matter if I shook your hand when I saw you in the parking lot earlier, doesn't matter if we've beefed on twitter, doesn't matter if you doused me with blood. All five of you are equal in one very important way tonight: you're my opponents and if I want a shot at the title I've got to put one of you down while I stop all of you from putting me or any of yourselves down, all at the same time. Easy? Hell no. But easy's not how things are supposed to go in pro wrestling. There's a line I love from a song I love, goes 'Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight, gotta kick at the darkness til it bleeds daylight.' Well I got my kickpads on and I'm ready to put them to work. Lace those boots up tight ladies, because there's a chance I kick you out of 'em, suplex you out of 'em, whatever I have to do. Tonight EWF's resident Pretty Badass leaves no doubt that she deserves the name and leaves no doubt she deserves a shot at the women's championship."
Allie glances past the camera to it's operator, giving a nod and a small smile before flipping her hood back up.
"Alright, that's all I needed. Thanks and get outta here before you get into trouble."
The camera begins to move again, bobbing before cutting to black as if the cameraman finally remembered to stop recording. |
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